To grieve is to love

 Love binds us and grief reminds us. This heartfelt blog explores the profound connection between the two sides of the same coin.

Grief is an unwelcome companion that we all encounter at various points in life, mixing into all the different parts of our experiences like threads in a woven fabric. We never seek for it, but it seems to find us all sometimes when we least expect it. So, what do we do? Take it one step at a time - after all, to grieve is to love!

Well, this is no ordinary blog, today we’re unpacking the beauty of love and grief. We understand how this sounds, almost out of touch but for us to oftentimes experience grief, first we need to have loved and done so, deeply!

Some of us have come to understand love as more than just an emotion, but a state of being that brings us closer to those we cherish. It is a source of strength, comfort and joy. It is something that binds us together, even when we are apart. Be it in friendships, romantic companions or family - in the words of Bell Hooks, “Love is a combination of care, commitment, knowledge, responsibility, respect and trust”. As much as we experience softness in the confines of these spaces, loss does manifest, oftentimes in many forms - be it relationships coming to an end or death - grief lingers leaving us grappling with the aftermath of loss.

“Grief, I’ve learnt, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All the unspent love gathers up in corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in the hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” - Jamie Anderson

It's easy to forget the beauty of community, that fabric that supports us in our most vulnerable moments. In many African cultures, the community plays a pivotal role in mourning our dearly departed, coming together to share the burden of grief and stand by the bereaved and grieving. A poignant reminder that, even in the face of sorrow, there is solace in the collective embrace of those around us. While not everyone may have the same cultural backdrop, the essence of community remains universal. In times of hardship and strain, true friends become a sanctuary, a pillar of strength, and a reflection of love in action.

Since time immemorial, people have migrated to buzzing cities or new countries seeking vibrant greener pastures. As such, grief sometimes manifests itself as loneliness, those moments we are homesick. When we crave the comfort that makes us feel like we belong. Whether it’s moving between provinces or across borders, the essence of African Basket is The Taste Of Home, a call to your roots, a glimpse of home. Whatever home means to us - it’s more than just a place, it’s a feeling, an experience of comfort and warmth, after all, Home is where they say the heart is.

Looking back, the Covid-19 Pandemic has changed most of our perspective on grief and significantly shifted the way we mourn losses from unexplored opportunities to our loved ones. One way to find healing or comfort is through our chosen family, friends! Finding community in friendships during times of need is not just a gesture; it's a testament to the profound essence of love and support that helps us weather life's storms together. It’s okay to mourn your losses and it’s okay to not be okay.

It’s alright to grieve!

For those in need of professional assistance, you're welcome to check out The Johannesburg Parent and Child Counselling Centre (JPCCC) a counselling, training and development agency which provides short or long term therapy for adolescents, families, adults, couples, and play therapy for children.